Changes

i woke up this morning and felt like a big fat loser who has no will power at all. i didn't binge yestarday (in fact i haven't binge for a long time) but i definitely am eating to much (~1000 kcal per day) and its way to much if im seriously want to lose ~15 kg. ok i know now im a waaaaay better in restricting then 2 years ago when it all started, but it's always the same circle (restricting/losing-binging/gaining-restricting/losing-binging/gaining). that shows also my personality...one moment im so exciting in everything, very positive and outgoing and then next time im depressed, bored and antisocial. And normally if im feeling like that  i would stay(read HIDE!) at home  because i didn't want to show im not always that happy person who never shows her disappointment, sadness or fears. Because people who showed these feelings in my opinion were weak and they lost respect from others. i thought till yestarday that noone had ever noticed the "sad" side of me, but i was so wrong.


ok. changes. from now on. ILL STICK WITH MY PLAN and will try to hide better that "sad"side from others. i don't want to scare people away, atleast those who are still stayed^^ and tomorrow ill weigh in. a little bit scary.