Bachelor degree, weight etc.

Hi to you all out there!

I can officially say i have finished my bachelor program, and i did it really well. well, that's the opinion of my professors, not mine. i think i could done it better. but i can/will improve myself in master's degree, if i will decide to do it. in fact, i want to study in germany. but that takes lots of money and courage as well.

all that eating/ studying at night took me back to 61 kg. it's  134 lbs. it sucks, but i am not worried to much, because i know, i can do this and be at the end of the month 125 lbs at least. (it's graduation then)

i done lots of tests, but doctors couldn't find why i am feeling bad all the time, and why my thyroid is swollen. at the end, they figured out it's only stress and to much caffeine and other stuff from large amounts of coffee and energy drinks. I can't use them now. only one cup coffee per day. it is sooooo bad. i am a coffee lover. ok i can manage through the summer, because it's hot and so, but what will i do in the autumn or winter. coffee in warm cozy place while it's snowing/ raining outside is kind of my everyday pleasure in those month.

emotionally i am bouncing from bad and depressed to happy shiny people in daily basis. i am not happy about that, nor are my surrounding people. the most triggering thing is as always loneliness. it gets to me badly. my birthday is after 2 month, i will be 23. it is a lot, and i haven't been in love once. NOT EVEN once. what is wrong with me? it's not a question. sometimes i'm afraid of what answer it could be. i perfectly know sitting here and rambling won't help it. and i am starting to understand it's not also because of my weight. i don't know about what could it be neither. just trying to stay sane, positive and don't show my problems to others. it's not working all the times.
tomorrow i will drive to the beach. i have my own bike (happy happy face). read it as kcal burning+ faster then traffic+ tanning!
 and it looks kind of cute, maybe not so cute as these two, but still :D

Good night/ Day to you all!

so you probably already figured out but so i am done with my studies, i will be here a lot again. 

xXxShySushixXx